Category:

New FirstEnergy Commercials Waste Donny's Talent

5/15/2012

Behold! It's Donny, FirstEnergy's "regular guy." He looks almost as stiff as his brand new FirstEnergy embroidered shirt, doesn't he? Where's the ball cap and t-shirt? Silly me! I forgot Donny is the one who sounds like he's reading from a report during FE's earnings call, and he can't act either. What a waste of a goofy looking face! Of course, who can blame him, being yanked from his office, dressed in a special shirt, and shoved in front of a camera. FE should have rounded up the boys and taken Donny out to the bowling alley, loaded him up with beer, and then filmed it there. If they had, they would have already answered AEP's new "jobs" commercial featuring regular folks who also work for AEP. (heh, lobbyists! good one, AEP!)

AEP scores a big casting win in their newest "balanced" ad. The fat guy in the suit looks just like the FE guys I saw! Now that's realism!

But it's not just about the commercials any longer. AEP also puts FirstEnergy's confused "fact sheets" to shame. FE made it way too complicated. Sometimes it's very easy to get too far off into the weeds when trying to convince people with facts. FE needs to tighten up here because it's too complicated for regular folks. AEP's new fact sheets are perfectly understandable to anyone, whether they're true or not.

Which company is right here? Who cares? AEP definitely has the better public relations firm in this tit for tat contest.

6 Comments

AEP Scores with Plain Folks Propaganda

5/13/2012

0 Comments

Remember The Shell Answer Man? Whatever happened to him anyhow? Never fear, friends, now we have Pablo, The AEP Answer Man! Pablo and his hideous, neon green shirt want to be your best friend and patiently explain everything to you so that you, too, will want to keep AEP sustainable so that they will still be there later to compete with the FirstEnergy bullies when they jack up rates after stealing all AEP's customers.

Go ahead, ask Pablo a question! You know you wanna!

Perhaps you could ask a question about shopping, like "Connie E." did:

"Q. I’ve seen ads claiming AEP is trying to prevent us from shopping for lower rates. Is this true?
A. That is absolutely false. Customers are able to shop now. In addition, AEP Ohio has proposed a plan being considered by the Public Utilities Commission of Ohio that continues the opportunities for consumers to shop for lower rates."

Gosh, I guess it's really not about shopping after all.

AEP jumps ahead of FirstEnergy again in the Ohio electric consumer leapfrog battle by pumping out the plain folks propaganda with a little CEO face time. Pablo is just a regular guy, isn't he... stumbling over his little speech while posing in front of his corporate ego wall. Best of all, you're sure not to lose him on the golf course dressed like that! Golf course? But, of course! You don't think you'd find a guy who makes six figures slumming at the bowling alley, do you?

Fortunately for FirstEnergy, this could be a slam dunk for them, if they'd just get in the game! Pablo's FirstEnergy counterpart looks so goofy, he's a natural for a plain folks commercial. Can't you just see Donny in a greasy ball cap and torn Simpsons t-shirt, cracking a smile while bent over the beer display at Wal-Mart and asking you to pull his finger? In fact... he even looks like Homer Simpson, doesn't he? D'oh, FirstEnergy! Another missed opportunity! Would you please start paying attention here? You're losing!

0 Comments

FirstEnergy Finally Buys a Clue in Ohio Battle with AEP

5/8/2012

5 Comments

*cue the circus music* FirstEnergy has finally lobbed a ball at AEP in the corporate dodge ball game going on in the state of Ohio. Unfortunately, FirstEnergy throws like a flabby, middle-aged nerd, but hey, at least they finally showed up for the game!

FirstEnergy finally abandoned their loser ad campaign and has upped their budget to create a real commercial that answers one of AEP's very creative commercials, the "dodge ball" commercial.

In FE's version of the game, AEP runs from the game and hides behind a bunch of little kids. I give it a 5 on the scale of creativity, but you just can't quite dance to it. I said creative, FE! Isn't there one among you who's twisted just enough to be truly creative? Keep trying, I know you can do it!

The only real humor to be found in the commercial is the actor FirstEnergy hired to portray themselves... young, good looking and athletic. I'm sorry, but I've seen you guys before, and I didn't see anyone even close to that guy. Character FAIL!

So, what are these companies fighting about anyhow? I know you are all insanely curious. Here's a simplistic explanation: FirstEnergy is buying electricity AEP generates at bargain basement prices and then marking it up in order to resell it to AEP customers at lower prices than AEP charges. AEP makes money by competing to sell electricity it generates, and FirstEnergy makes money by being the middleman and reselling it to you at a lower price. What's at issue here is the amount AEP can charge for its electricity. AEP wants to raise the price so that FirstEnergy can no longer make a big profit as the middle man. This would effectively kill the current competition going on in AEP's Ohio service territory and stop AEP's customer migration to FirstEnergy and other competitive suppliers. To further simplify, it's all about money. Both companies are greedy shysters who are milking consumers for every dime they can. Neither one is any better than the other. You might as well toss a coin, or make your selection based on how hard their commercials make you laugh. The company with the funniest commercial wins the customers!

Read More

5 Comments

AEP Wins the Ohio "Billions" Bailout Battle

5/3/2012

6 Comments

After FirstEnergy recently claimed that AEP "wants a billion dollar bailout" in their just plain ol' annoying amateur-hour commercials, AEP has upped the ante by claiming that FirstEnergy "wants a 7 billion dollar bailout." What's next? Will FirstEnergy claim that AEP wants a 14 billion dollar bailout and raise the bet in this silly game?

Who cares? AEP gets bonus points for introducing the dreaded school lunch ladies to the fray (with a snapping glove for an extra shot of horror), and coming up with a better version of FirstEnergy's brain-dead message and using it to confuse people. AEP = creative win!

Oh, but wait... FirstEnergy fires back with a placed editorial in their local paper whining about AEP's kickin' commercials. Yes, we get it, AEP is now using your message against you, FE. Wahhhh!!! C'mon FE, you buncha wimps, we want to see some creative commercials.... get busy!

Update: It appears FirstEnergy finally took a lesson! See their newest commercial here.

Read More

6 Comments

AEP vs. FirstEnergy Ohio Duel

5/1/2012

4 Comments

And now it's time for the entertainment section of this blog, currently featuring the corporate dogfight going on in Ohio between American Electric Power and FirstEnergy. In our latest entertaining episode, we find the champion, AEP, grinning wickedly from their lemonade stand, while the challenger, FirstEnergy glares cluelessly from the opposite corner.

AEP has released a follow-up to their untruthful, but very entertaining, lemonade stand commercial. The new commercial uses a game of dodge ball to paint FirstEnergy as a bunch of unfair bulllies beating up on poor, wimpy children. AEP has also stepped up their game by petitioning to intervene in FirstEnergy's Ohio rate case, in order to become as much of a legal pest to FE as FE has been to AEP in all of AEP's recent rate cases.

FirstEnergy attempted to make some improvements to their sickly counter campaign. They tried to come up with a memorable character/image that consumers could relate to that would give their campaign a boost. In their two new TV commercials her e and here, FirstEnergy bets the farm on a couple of annoying, cheezy, bad actors who are pretending (too hard) to be angry at AEP for "taking away their right to shop." Apparently there really wasn't a winner to be found between Li'l CoalFella's molars, just a couple of chewed up landowners and ratepayers he has neglected to properly (and privately!) floss out since the PATH failure. Perhaps some of the other FE flacks might find something in their own dental work that doesn't just annoy the living spit out of people. It's worth a pick or two, because FE's current ad campaign is a big loser.

FirstEnergy should take a gander at the creativity and simplicity of AEP's messages and website. It's simple, memorable, and although it isn't exactly humorous, it's creative enough to make people watch the ads, instead of just being annoyed by FE's whiny monologues, which make a person want to change the channel!

There's way too much junk on FE's website, and still no clear message. AEP isn't taking away a "right to shop," they're just making it less profitable for FE when shopping occurs. If FE wants to run an effective counter-campaign, they need to answer AEP's message, not create some other confused and angry message.

What FE needs in their campaign is a little humor, such as we previously suggested, by having the little lemonade waif cross the street and demand that Mr. First Energy suit pay up for selling on "her" corner. To demonstrate the power of humor in effective messaging, and inspired by a chilled six-pack of Raging Bitch Ale, here are a few ideas Patience and I came up with:

Spark some retro satire! Portray the AEP bigwigs as downtrodden, homeless panhandlers lined up on a busy city street (perhaps LittleDrummerBoy can play for spare change!) Suddenly, the little lemonade girl walks past them all, shedding a gigantic tear at how far they have fallen because of FirstEnergy's "unfair" practices, spoofing the iconic crying Indian. Poor, poor AEP! It's a crying shame!
FE needs to make their characters more sympathetic. Instead of an annoying, nasal-sounding, "angry" woman in her fake-beautiful kitchen, how about some teddy bears, unicorns or funny clowns pointing out how AEP is ripping consumers off? Seniors and women love that stuff! Let's get happy here, FE!
How about portraying AEP as a masked cat burglar going door-to-door, personally delivering AEP's monthly electric bill to unsuspecting consumers? "This is a stick-up!" (hint: get some talented actors, the ones you have now SUCK!)
Now, for AEP, here's an idea for your next commercial. FE portrays themselves as the white knight whose only objective is to save consumers money. How fast do you suppose FE would beat feet when there's not as much profit in re-selling your capacity? FE pretends like they don't like to make money, but they're making a bundle at your expense, aren't they?
For both companies: How about some face time with the CEO(s)? After all, a little plain folks propaganda isn't too hard to pull off. Have them show the public how they're "just like you," and shed that "faceless corporation" identity you're carrying like a lead weight around your ankles.
FE: Why not show a little kid selling candy door to door, and this big, scary man comes up and lifts the kid upside down and shakes him 'til all his money comes out of his pocket?

And then, here are the commercials Ohio consumers should produce. You know, ones that portray the REAL facts:

AEP's dodgeball commercial: Start the commercial as is, however, as the teams face off before the game starts, the sound mutes and action stops as the camera focuses on a quarter that falls out of someone's pocket and rolls slowly into the center of the gym floor, and lands, *Plink*. Sound and action suddenly resumes as both teams abandon the game and rush toward a new, greedy, vicious, individual battle to capture the wayward quarter and be the one to pocket it.
Another take on the dodgeball commercial: Start the commercial as is, but have an audience sitting on the bleachers. A referee blows the starting whistle for the game, and both the geeks and the jocks turn and pummel the audience (ratepayers, of course - keep up, people, keep up!).
The little girl at the lemonade stand gets into a real hair-pulling, scratching and biting fight with the big bad bully; but then they realize there's a crowd standing around watching and laughing their heads off. (And they all look like Keryn ...)

While watching these two claw and scratch is highly entertaining (and makes kissing and making up to partner on a reanimated PATH project much more unlikely), it isn't helping either company in their Ohio case. Everyone still hates AEP and thinks they're greedy. And nobody really cares to champion FirstEnergy's money-making "right to shop" schemes, either. I'm gonna make a prediction here... PUCO is gonna split the baby and come up with a capacity price somewhere in the middle. PUCO recently got caught with AEP's hand up their skirt and they're not going to end up with egg on their face again. The public is ANGRY! Unfortunately, neither one of these companies knows diddly-squat about harnessing that anger to champion their corporate profit-making cause. First, they would have to make people relate to them and like them.... and that's never going to happen. Corporations aren't people!!! Perhaps the power companies should get busy forming more fake grassroots "coalitions" to testify for them at PUCO. Oh wait, that doesn't work either! Too bad, so sad. Fight on, fellas, we're enjoying the show!

Read More

4 Comments

Li'l CoalFella Digs Deep and Finds Inspiration Between His Molars!

4/20/2012

4 Comments

It's payday, friends! Since the only payment I receive for doing this is laughter, the really good can't-catch-your-breath-tears-streaming-down-your-face kind, I not only got well paid today, I think I may have also gotten my yearly bonus!

FirstEnergy responded to AEP's lemonade ad by setting up their own special website and launching a print and radio campaign. Yeah, yeah, I know li'l CoalFella said FirstEnergy had no plans to respond, as recently as Tuesday, however it appears that we have inspired him with our cheerful singing! FirstEnergy also says that they have no plans for a TV commercial at this time (they're still probably trying to convince Tony the Trickster to play the mob boss).

So anyhow, go visit FirstEnergy's little website, www.forelectricsavings.com Too bad, forreliablepower.com was already taken, but at least they're sticking with their "for" theme. What's next? formanyyearsofpayingforourdeadpathproject.com? I can't wait!

Li'l CoalFella's new website has all kinds of fun stuff on it. Hear the bitchy-sounding radio commercials, email the PUCO, or sign li'l CoalFella's petition! Remember way back when li'l CoalFella's PEAT group had a petition on their website? It was hard, but I resisted signing it with made-up names. Not so for a bunch of other people, or so I hear. So, have fun everybody! Perhaps we should initiate a contest for the most creative made-up name that gets published on li'l CoalFella's petition?

Ironically, li'l CoalFella and his FirstEnergy co-workers now want you to "Stand up and fight!" after years of trying to get you to sit down and shut up about their PATH project. Isn't that refreshing? I'm glad they've finally seen the light and picked up a few pointers from us over the years.

Keep singing! Perhaps we'll see a TV commercial soon...

Read More

4 Comments

PATH Parents Engaged in Lover's Quarrel Freak Show in Ohio

4/17/2012

8 Comments

Nuke some popcorn and pull up a comfy chair, it's time for the PATH parent company freak show! AEP and FirstEnergy are engaged in some serious bitch-slapping and hair pulling over serving customers in the quasi-deregulated state of Ohio. AEP wants PUCO to set higher prices for the use of their distribution system to serve former customers who have switched to FirstEnergy's lower rates.

AEP has begun airing a television commercial that portrays the company as a cute, little, pig-tailed cherub selling lemonade who is cheated by by a mean, old guy in a business suit (representing FirstEnergy). If FirstEnergy is allowed to supply electricity at lower rates, "thousands of jobs would be destroyed!" Honestly, fellas, you make me laugh! Watch AEP's commercial here.

According to the article in The Dispatch, Doug Colafella, spokesman for Akron-based FirstEnergy, said his company is not planning any response ads at this time. Awww.... c'mon, li'l CoalFella, you're not going to take that lying down, are you? Don't you want to air your own commercials showing little miss pig-tails removing her mask to reveal a mafia boss who crosses the street and demands that Mr. FirstEnergy Suit pay up for selling lemonade on "her" corner? You've even got in-house talent so you wouldn't have to pay actors. I would suggest any of the characters on this web page for the part, especially the one at the top of the page -- would he make the perfect "godfather," or what?

Don't get discouraged, li'l CoalFella, you can do it!

Just what makes that little old ant
Think he'll move that rubber tree plant
Anyone knows an ant, can't
Move a rubber tree plant

But he's got high hopes, he's got high hopes
He's got high apple pie, in the sky hopes

Sing it with me, li'l CoalFella! I'm sure you can dig up a real winner if you just put your mind to it!

Read More

8 Comments

Forward>>

New FirstEnergy Commercials Waste Donny's Talent

AEP Scores with Plain Folks Propaganda

FirstEnergy Finally Buys a Clue in Ohio Battle with AEP

AEP Wins the Ohio "Billions" Bailout Battle

AEP vs. FirstEnergy Ohio Duel

Li'l CoalFella Digs Deep and Finds Inspiration Between His Molars!

PATH Parents Engaged in Lover's Quarrel Freak Show in Ohio

About the Author

About
StopPATH Blog

Need help opposing unneeded transmission?
Email me

Archives

Categories

About the Author

AboutStopPATH Blog

Archives

Categories

About
StopPATH Blog